Everytime
by LVB
Summary: One night, both Vader and Padmè reflect on their lives and their failures. Switches POV of Padmè and Vader.


**Everytime**

**Author:** LVB

**Summary:** One night, Vader and Padmè slowly reflect on the shambles of their lives. Switches POV of Padmè and Vader. Songfic to the Britney Spears song (slow version).

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Star Wars characters, locations, merchandise or even any DVDs. The song Everytime belongs to Britney Spears and her entourage. Don't sue.

**A/N:** This is a repost fixing all the errors my previous one had. Thanks to Lacey (Toni) for her corrections. I've taken off the lyrics to the song because I don't want to be in violation of anything.

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What is left now? The ever-continuing battle for peace, destroyed. The Republic has failed.

_I have failed._

I have failed not only the Republic but myself. For my soul, my heart and my never-wavering belief in him; the man that was my husband. My children are gone, placed at the extreme opposites of the galaxy, scattered amongst the millions of stars that shine boldly down upon us. What is here at the end for Padmè Skywalker?

_Nothing but my dispirited memory_.

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They would only ever come at night. The nightmares tainted with forgotten memories of a time reminiscent of a Jedi Order filled with hope about a Chosen One.

_The Chosen One. _

**Lord Vader. **

_Anakin Skywalker. _

By day a frightening Sith Lord but at night, only in my dreams I am Anakin.

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I am a young boy on Tatooine. A slave-boy, locked away from the world in Watto's junkyard. Who would have known that the breath of fresh air needed in my life could walk right in and make my very heart stand still; Padmè?

_Are you an angel?_

My cold, black heart begins to beat, seemingly in unison with the beauty before me. Slowly, in this dream I have my memories; the good and the bad.

I am no longer with my angel. I look down and see her. Shmi Skywalker, my mother. She is dying in my arms.

_Again. _

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Tonight I finally allow myself to cry. Tonight I remember.

_I remember._

The paradise, that day Anakin forever pledged his love for me. All I have is my memory. Tonight, as my soul slowly disappears due to the circumstances surrounding me, the destruction of hope for myself and for the galaxy, I will remember.

Tonight I will be simple Padmè, not a Senator fighting for the right of the Republic, nor a saddened mother grieving for the departure of her barely-newborn children. I will not be consumed by the grief I hold inside me for my family, my children nor my lost husband. I will retreat into my mind, into my memory.

_I am simply Padmè._

_And he is Anakin. _

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My love simply had not been enough to save him from the Dark Side. I could have tried harder, perhaps if I had not listened to Kenobi? My heart, my soul, my body had not been enough. A perfect life; two lovers united under a Naboo sun. Then two beautiful and innocent ones created. It turns out it was in vain, after all.

_I failed him. _

And now I am left here alone with my memory.

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I dream again tonight. Crimson waves of blood and screams of a hellish kind of suffering. I am not Vader tonight however, these memories are of Anakin.

_Anakin Skywalker. _

The Tuskens lay dead at my feet. They surround me, their heads sitting next to their bodies, their eyes looking accusingly at me. I can see the looks in their eyes as I slaughtered them.

_I slaughtered them like animals; the women…and the children. _

I expected nothing more than horror and that is what I will receive not only as Darth Vader but as Anakin Skywalker. I expected her to turn away, to hate me as passionately as I had hated them. She simply opened her heart.

_You're not all powerful._

Does she live on? Too long as it been since I ever felt. I can only relive our lives in my dream. Tonight, I dream on.

_And I am truly sorry for the memory, Padmè. _

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A frozen moment in time…a memory wrapped so tightly around the pylons of strength fixated in my mind. It is night everywhere in the galaxy, the stars shine on brightly but the sun does not touch us with its rejuvenating power.

_Will it ever again?_

I am alone and hope fails to revive my body. I am slowly fading away. My body and my soul will be swept away with the sands of time. The legacy I had intended to leave for the Republic, for my husband, for my children and for my family will now never exist. Not a soul would ever know of Padmè Amidala Naberrie Skywalker. Who died alone, consumed by her grief and the pain that ravaged her time as a great Empire rose under a man she once loved.

_She died of a broken heart, they'll say. _

_That's if anybody would ever care to remember. _

Just for a moment, I can feel my heart beating again. I stop the memory and let the feelings wash over me, cleansing me, destroying the sins that claimed my body. As if threaded through time, space and consciousness I can feel him once again.

_Anakin. _

But alas, as quickly as it becomes the truth, the darkness envelopes the lie. The memory haunts me.

_Not for long._

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And finally, the darkness.**_

_No more hurting anymore. _

* * *

Falling…falling. That is all I could feel. Suddenly, my mind cleared and I was sitting up in the cold, hard bed that was encased in my on-board breathing chamber.

_Just a dream._

But then a sharp, stabbing pain in my chest. Something was gone. Something was wrong.

_No more hurting anymore._

Across time and space I can feel her.

_Slipping away. _

She was **alive**!

_Was…_

I could have saved her.

"**Padmè!"**

My voice is hoarse and unfiltered as the burns and scars that mar my face echo through the voice that once belonged to Anakin Skywalker.

_No more hurting anymore. _

Padmè was gone…and all that remained was her memory etched onto the dreams of Anakin Skywalker. For Lord Vader reigned today. He would not cry. He would not feel. He would not succumb to this weakness. He would not grieve.

But tonight, she would dance upon the memories that haunted **his **dreams.

For in my dreams, I am simply Anakin.

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End file.
